Dating questionnaire for the over 30’s.
Wouldn’t dating be a lot simpler if we could just skip past all the mind games and present our potential future love interest with a ‘fun personality test’ to access their suitability to fulfill the role? Inspired partially by the superb book ‘The Rosie Project’ by Graeme Simsion and terrified at the prospect of dating again after several relationships gone sour I wrote my own questionnaire. (See below). Obviously, I will not be taking this thing out on dates with me but I can’t help but think it would take a lot of the aggro, confusion, emotional energy out of this whole ‘finding a partner/husband/soul mate’ malarkey. Get it all out there, from the beginning. This is what I am looking for, do you fit the criteria. No? Then move on, next victim please!
Here it is…(prepare to be horrified.)
- Have you/someone else ever described you as emotionally withdrawn?
- Would you like to have children (in the not very distant future)?
- If not, what are your thoughts on egg freezing?
- Do you have anger management issues?
- Do you believe you are always right?
- Are you selfish?
- Do you ever attempt to control or manipulate people with your words or behavior? For example by withholding affection or emotional blackmail?
- Do you know that sometimes all it takes is a hug does make everything alright?
- Do you smoke?
- Do you exercise, eat healthily and look after yourself?
- Do you have abandonment issues?
- Do you have a good relationship with your Mother? Father? Family?
- Are there any manipulate she-wolves in your social/family circle?
- Are you kind? Gentle? Generous?
- Can you support me whilst giving me space to grow?
- Can you hold me gently but not too tight?
- Can you tolerate me when I am being a pain in the arse?
- Can you help me stand on my own two feet without treating me like a child?
- Can you have fun and laugh and do things to build memories together?
- Can you give love and receive it gratefully?
- Can you trust me?
And if that doesn’t scare them the hell away then I don’t know what will.
In all seriousness though, I know that would be pointless, it somewhat takes the fun and mystery out of getting to know someone. But, it is so hard to know how to trust your instincts. How can you subtly find out all this information whist in the throws of chemistry, banter and flirtation? With those infamous rose tinted glasses on. If I was a more care free, less narcotic, and a little less battle scared I would maybe be more inclined to just jump in at the deep end and see where it takes me. But experience has taught me that that HURTS. And not just me, others too. If there is one thing I have learned is that relationships, falling in love and sex all have consequences. It’s a mine field out there. I’m just not sure if I have to emotional energy to battle through another disastrous relationship. But yet my heart yearns so much to love and be loved. To connect on an emotional, physical and spiritual level. So I just know I will keep on making the same mistakes, over and over again.